


In case you don't live forever

by moonsqueen



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Castiel Has a Crush, Gen, I don't know how to tag this, One Shot, Teenage Castiel, musical fan castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:48:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26003689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonsqueen/pseuds/moonsqueen
Summary: Castiel decides to go to the park and draw for a while. He listens to music and admires his surroundings
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	In case you don't live forever

**Author's Note:**

> it's 4am don't @ me, but we all love a good old soft castiel :(  
> I'm so sorry for any typo  
> enjoy 😙✌🏻

Castiel walks around the park looking for a free spot to sit down, he brought his sketch book with him, all he wants to do is draw and listen to music. 

He spots a place near the end of the park, there's a tall tree right next to it, the shadow creates the perfect atmosphere he needs.

It's such a nice day today, it's not too hot, there's a soft breeze that caress his face and rumple his already messy hair. He sits down, the grass is slightly wet but Cas doesn't care, it's a lovely feeling. 

He takes the backpack of his shoulders and lays it down near the tree, he closes his eyes and takes a moment to enjoy the peaceful feeling of being all alone, the feeling of grass below his hands, the feeling of absolutely contentment.

Castiel takes out of his pockets his ear phones, connects them to his phone and places them in his ears while he chooses the playlist he wants to listen.

He picks the one with soothing and calm songs in it, they always cheer him up when all he wants to do is draw or just think.

The familiar notes of 'in case you don't live forever' start and he feels all the negativity leaving his body.

He breathes.

_You put all your faith in my dreams  
You gave me the world that I wanted  
What did I do to deserve you?_

Castiel opens his black backpack and takes out his worn but still loved sketchbook, it's a chork-made book, his close friend Charlie bought for him in Portugal a few years back.

He always had too many sketchbook, and he loves it. He always found so exciting, going to the store and just find a new diary, notebook, anything he can draw on. 

The feeling of paper beneath his fingers - the smell of new stationery is something that always made him feel safe, that reminded him of the joyful times that was his childhood.

_I follow your steps with my feet  
I walk on the road that you started  
I need you to know that I heard you, every word_

He isn't, by any means the best artist - but he always enjoyed drawing, taking a break from every responsibility, every burden, every problem - doubt of his life and just draw, draw until he can no more. 

He doesn't care what he is drawing, if it's a friend, a landscape or just an abstract image that pops up on in mind right that second.

_I've waited way too long to say  
Everything you mean to me_

A leaf falls on his paper, he picks it up, it's a red maple leaf - no, he's not some kind of tree expert (even though he may have gotten a little bit too much into it after he saw 'Dear Evan Hansen' the musical the first time, but that's a story for another time) 

The red leaf brings him back to the autumnal days of his childhood he so dearly misses, the rainy days that he loved so much because he finally had an occasion to put on his favourite little yellow raincoat and his beloved rain-boots full of little bees all over them.

He raises the leaf and watches the sun passing through it and making it look like something magical, from another world.

He decides he wants to keep it, and he securely hides it im between the pages of his book.

_In case you don’t live forever, let me tell you now  
I love you more than you'll ever wrap your head around  
In case you don't live forever, let me tell you the truth  
I’m everything that I am because of you_

He watches down and he smiles, without realizing he drew a person, sharp black lines outline the guys's face, a multitude of messy dots create a constellation of freckles. He blushes, it's the guy he has a crush on. 

It's a new feeling for him, they are not even friends, Cas just saw him walking down the school hallway a few times. He will never have the courage to talk to him and that's okay for now.

Cas gently puts the sketchbook down and he figures it's time for a little break. He only now notices how hungry he is, Cas pulls out of the backpack the sandwich he prepared early that day together with a bottle of his favourite tea.

_I, I've carried this song in my mind  
Listen, it's echoing in me  
But I haven't helped you to hear it_

He carefully peels the layer of foil that is placed all around the sandwich. He notices his charcoal smudged fingers, but he doesn't make a move to clean them, it makes him feel like a real artist, he knows it's silly but he feels so proud. everytime.

He scoots back a little untill he can easily lay his back on the tree, he starts eating and observing what is happening all around him.  
There's a little kid playing by himself near a old-looking red slide, his mother watches him carefully, she's smiling fondly at his child.

_We, we've only got so much time  
I'm pretty sure it would kill me  
If you didn't know the pieces of me are pieces of you_

He can hear shrieks and laughs coming from his left, there's two little kids on the swings, they are going flying higher every second a little bit more, they must feel on the top of the world. 

Maybe they are, maybe that's the moment of every person's life when they are the most alive, the happiest and they're never gonna feel a similar emotion for the rest of their life.

_I've waited way too long to say  
Everything you mean to me_

Castiel brings the last piece of the sandwich to his mouth, he crumples the mix of paper and foil and tries to throw it in the nearest trashcan, he fails.

He gets up and picks it up, this time the little ball goes right into the bin.

_In case you don’t live forever, let me tell you now  
I love you more than you’ll ever wrap your head around  
In case you don't live forever, let me tell you the truth  
I’m everything that I am because of you_

Cas checks his phone, it's already 3pm. He wonders for a moment if he has time to draw and relax a little bit more, he eventually decides to go home.

He gathers all his things and closes his backpack before putting it on his left shoulder and with a quick glance behind him he leaves the park.

_I have a hero whenever I need one_  
I just look up to you and I see one  
I'm a man 'cause you taught me to be one 

**Author's Note:**

> the song is by Ben Platt <3 (


End file.
